Have a word (or many) with yourself

Happy Wednesday nuggets!

I’m really excited to share this cluster of words with you this morning. Something incredible happened this weekend (okay… a lot of incredible happened) AND I’m excited to share.

Seawheeze 2019. Holy smokes you rolled in fuegs.

Seawheeze is Lululemon’s half marathon in Vancouver and my participation was a last minute game time decision. I had every intention of running earlier this year but then a few weeks back, the fatigue I experienced put all those thoughts on hold.

This run was truly a celebration of everything my body can do and I had no idea it’d hit me this hard. 

Something I’d love for you to keep in mind while you read and hold these words is: the words you speak to yourself are the most invaluable ones you share.

I’ve mentioned that I constantly speak aloud to myself - all the damn time. Most of the time, it’s my moving meditation; my quiet time to body scan, mind scan, and fully wake up. Some questions I’ll ask myself are:

How are you feeling this morning?

How are you breathing?

What and who do you GET to see today?

What is something you can let go of?



And I’ll reply. Out-loud.

I spent some time asking myself these questions on Saturday morning pre-race and woke up like any other morning. I met up with two pals and we joined the most vibrant group of people in Vancouver at the start line. I had podcasts on deck, the most fire playlists ready to pull me through, and I put my headphones on but didn’t hit play. At all. For all 21km’s. 


I started moving with and through the crowd, high-fived every person I wanted to see, and felt their energy pass through every cell in my body. Everyone I saw on the course played a role much larger than they’ll ever know. 

Then I passed 15km. 16km. 17km. 

No music, no podcasts, just the loudest thoughts I’ve ever had.


“I get to. I get to”. On repeat - in my head and out-loud.

There were countless running thoughts through my mind;

“Wow, look at her go. Fuck she’s strong”

“I wonder who you’re running for today”

“I wonder if you’ve ever gone this far”

“Who’d you come with”

“How can I support you”

“Did I make a mistake only eating half a banana and a pocket full of Smart Sweets?”

“I hope I don’t shit my pants”

“Meh.. I’m good now”

“Do you need to slow down? Or are you just falling back into ease?”

“You’re good. Go faster. There may come a time where you aren’t able to move at this cadence again. Move faster for all the people who aren’t able to move like this. Because there was a time, not long ago, where that was you.”



“You get to”

I ran faster as a celebration for everything my body can do, everything she ever has done, and everything she ever will do - however that may look. Thinking back to the mornings where I’d barely have enough momentum to peel myself off my bed in the morning, this moment was really out of my foresight.

19km.

It’s all I’m saying: 

I get to. Who knows if I will tomorrow. Who knows if I could next week. But I can right now and I get to. For all the moments I wasn’t able to, this one’s for you. Come on. Finish. I get too.


And I sure as heck did. I crossed at 1h49 minutes.

After 14k I kept saying it was ‘all mental’, and maybe.. it always was. Maybe it had nothing to do with how much I prepped, what I ate the night before, if I felt sore going in, or what I felt like just shy of 7 weeks ago. Maybe it had everything to do with a full immersion in one experience that when it came down to it, the most important thing I could lean on were my own words.


Take it or leave it, it’s all yours

So maybe tomorrow morning you wake up with these four questions: 

How are you feeling this morning?
How are you breathing?
What and who do you GET to see today?
What is something you can let go of?

And maybe it serves as our portal to inquiry - a stepping stone into building that relationship with our inner dialogue. 

Maybe we start there.
And remember, the words you speak to yourself are the most valuable ones you share. 

Big love & loud thoughts, 

G

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Gabby Villasenor